Venting on Uncertainty

You all can feel free to skip this, but I really need to just vent about today to the world at large, and this seemed like the best place :).

The last few weeks have generally been great for my physically. I've been doing a lot less, but have had few instances where contractions have dropped into that 10 minute apart range, and really haven't needed to stress. Yesterday, in particular, I felt great. Still took it pretty easy, but did a couple short shopping trips for baby things, which was fun. I felt so relaxed and was probably getting overconfident about the fact that pregnancy wise, things were going well. I'd starting using a support band at work, which seemed to be really helping.

Then came today.

Since I woke up at 6am, I've been having contractions, on average, every 5 minutes. Sometimes they've spread to as far apart as 20 minutes, but usually for only one or two, just enough to get my hopes up, before they jumped down to 3-4 minutes apart, just to mess with me even more. If my math is right, that means I've had between 90 and 150 contractions today. And I swear, I haven't done anything crazy lately. No hikes, no hot days in the sun. It hasn't even been hot lately! I've been getting good nights of sleep the last few nights, staying hydrated, taking warm baths, you name it. As a "rule follower," it's so frustrating to be following the pregnancy "rules" and still feel like my body isn't behaving. It's not even just that the contractions are fairly uncomfortable, but that they have me constantly asking if I might actually be in labor and missing it. And that fear that by not reading the signs, I will somehow hurt our baby.

I've called the midwife line twice today to check in, and will likely be going in tomorrow for the 3rd time this pregnancy to get checked out in person, but Ed and I just feel like we are in this limbo. Should we be worried? Is this just going to be normal for the rest of this pregnancy? What does this mean for work? Will they stop slow down by tomorrow? I feel like a broken record, complaining about these, calling the help line about them, complaining to poor Ed and making him do everything around the house when I get put out of commission.

For now, I'm just sitting, watching the Oscars and the clock, and praying that these things will go away slow down enough that I'm not in the "danger zone." Please, just 15 minutes apart. That would make me so happy.

I am sure that everything is, in all likelihood, just fine. But for now, I'm not going to blame myself for being worried. But I am going to trust that this will pass and tomorrow will be better.