In Limbo

Today, Evan had his final evaluation for his helmet therapy. He's officially outgrown it after 9 weeks, so he got a second set of pictures taken to evaluate the changes. And, here they are (side note - cute stockinged baby again!) Top is before, bottom is after:

From the front, you can see that his head is a lot more symmetrical across the top! His face also has more symmetry. 

You can see it's also a little more rounded in the back.

And,  you can see it's much less of a severe of a slant in the back - our biggest concern, but that there still is that flatter spot on the left. 

So, in sum, Evan's made some great progress, but he isn't "there" yet. His plagiocephaly is still on the higher side of moderate (down from severe) which, to be honest, is pretty disappointing. We knew going in that because much of his problems were caused in utero, they would be harder to correct, but I can't deny that I had visions of getting a "mild" score on his evaluation. He did improve in the overall shape of his head (he had some mild brachycephaly also, which caused some wideness above the ears and a head that was more circular, instead of longer than it was wide), and does look so much better. 

Still, it looks like we're headed towards another helmet. We need to wait to hear back from insurance, which can take up to 3 weeks, and then it will be at least a week after that to get the new helmet, so he probably won't have it until he's close to 8 months old. Since growth slows down, he'll have to wear it for 3-4 months, taking him right up to his first birthday. 

It's hard to be "starting over" and I've been going through a lot of the emotions I had the first time around, which seems silly, since I'd been feeling so good about our helmet process up to now. I don't worry about public opinion any more, but more that I'm missing out on almost his whole infancy, it feels like, with a little boy who I can cuddle without worrying about a broken nose from getting bonked by a hard hat :). I'm also stressed that it will take about a month to get a new helmet, since the later it takes to get a helmet, the longer it needs to be worn and the less effective it is. 

But, I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'll have almost a whole month to snuggle and cuddle with my sweet baby and rub that soft, blond hair of his. A month of kissing his head all over, instead of just the top, and rubbing my face in his sweet little neck. He is perfect, helmet or not, and I'm still so thankful that this is something that can be fixed and isn't something that requires surgery or medication or something else that could threaten his wellbeing. If anything, the helmet has been keeping him safer, especially as he's become more mobile. This time with it off has made Ed and I both more nervous as he crawls around exploring, and sometimes we wish that we could put that helmet back on so we wouldn't have to worry about him banging himself up :). 

So, we're currently in a kind of limbo. Done with our first helmet, but not done with having a helmet (most likely). It's sort of a weird place to be, but we're going to make the most of it.