Tomorrow

[Starting to feel marginally better, which apparently inspired me to become quite verbose and reflective :) ]

Over the last few weeks, I've been re-reading my favorite series - Anne of Green Gables.

When I read a book from my childhood, especially this one, I get caught up in all the feelings I felt reading this book as a child, all the hopes it filled me with regarding what I hoped I would be like as I got older. Anne represented what I wanted to be - a loving, enthusiastic teacher and married to the man of her dreams. In high school, I have to admit that I was a little more excited about the meeting the love of my life part than the teaching part. The career goals came a bit later :).

Now that I'm on the other side, married and a teacher myself, it feels pretty great to feel like I got my own version of that "Anne of Green Gables" life. I even married a (soon to be) doctor - just a different kind. The book does still cause a lot of reflection for me in about my future.

In the book, one of the characters, a young neighbor girl who is befriended by Anne, is always talking about Tomorrow. While her real life is very empty and strict, in Tomorrow, Elizabeth (the girl) believes everything is happy and good. In Tomorrow, her dad (who is absent) will return, she'll get freedom to live a fun life, and basically everything will fall into place.

When I was younger, I had a Tomorrow that I dreamed about, too. In my Tomorrow, I would get to be a wife and have a house and children of my own (okay, maybe some of you had loftier goals, but my ultra-romanticized self really had little else in mind for my future). [Though, I have to say, putting that "goal" into writing makes me feel a little silly - it doesn't seemly nearly as exciting in print as it did in my head all those years.] If you've known me for very long, you'd know that I've been waiting somewhat impatiently for the time in my life when I would be old enough to make that future a reality.

Sometimes I have to be careful about Tomorrow, because I still catch myself dreaming about mine. Especially because Tomorrow is a whole lot closer at 26 than it was at 12. I keep thinking about the house Ed and I will be buying this year, and the addition(s) to our family that hopefully will be happening in not too many years, the future we'll have when we're "grown up" family people, and I can't wait. Sometimes it's hard to keep myself from rushing to Tomorrow as quickly as I can, because I know how wonderful it will be.

However, my Today is pretty amazing, too, and I shouldn't need to keep reminding myself of that. I am so happy with how my life is right now, and don't want to rush ahead if I really think about it. The timing right now doesn't fit with my Tomorrow, and forcing it to rush ahead would spoil both my Tomorrow and my Today. Tomorrow will still be there when we're ready for it, and I know it will be just as amazing as I've always hoped.